"Things Just Ain't
Like They Oughta Be"
By Bill Moore
Feb. 2004
Well, where to start??
Hey, here's a pretty good beginning point. I read to you from a recent, (several weeks ago now), issue of The Northwoods Call under the heading entitled "Rations!"
"With a FEW deer beginning to show winter stress," (remember, folks! This article ran quite a while ago and if the bureaucrats are admitting that there were a FEW deer in trouble back then, you can bet your best deer rifle that there's a lot more animals close to starvation now or probably even actually dead!)....." in the Upper Peninsula, wildlife and law officials are concerned ABOUT VIOLATIONS OF THE TOTAL BAN ON SUPPLEMENTAL FEEDING!
DNR deer specialist Rod Clute points out the ban was instituted to prevent the spread of disease. "Various diseases CAN BE spread when healthy deer come in contact with saliva, urine, droppings or the breath on an infected animal!"
The article goes on to say that "recreational feeding" is allowed, no more than two gallons.....no hay or corn, just commercially prepared pellets, which by the way have been proven to be of a deadly, toxic nature if they should get wet by rain or melting snow and left on the ground for any period of time.
Blah-blah-ditty blah-blah and so on and so forth, B.S., B.S. and even more B.S.!!!
What say we have some fun with this and at the same time bring to you the truth about this sad situation using facts, logic and common sense.
First off, in the opening sentence of the article it admits that deer in the UP. are beginning to show signs of stress, and right on the heels of this statement comes the indication that DNR wildlife and law enforcement people are concerned!!
And about what, one very well might inquire???
Why, they are all just worried sick about violations of the total ban on supplemental feeding here in our good old U.P.!!!
Not a single word said about the fact that they care not a whit that these unfortunate animals are going to die if some kind of gastronomical assistance is not rapidly forthcoming!
Nosiree bob!!
The reason these clowns are wetting all over themselves is due to the fact that good, caring compassionate sportspeople and private landowners are, in essence telling these bureaucratic whiners to stick it in their ever lovin's as they proceed to feed these hapless whitetail in spite of the asinine, totally senseless and absolutely unnecessary restrictions and moose-muffin rules that those stalwart, olive-grab-clad, keeper of all that's holy to them personally in the great, Michigan out-of-doors have made into law!
"Steward's of our wildlife!!", my great Aunt Tildy's wrinkled, white buttocks!!
Let's continue on.
It's time now to take to task Mr. Rod Clute, who is identified as a "DNR DEER SPECIALIST!!!"
(Are you impressed with his credentials as I am???)
Anyway, again I mention to you that the good Mr Clute states that "this ban was instituted to prevent the spread of disease! And then he continues by stating that "various diseases CAN BE SPREAD" by contact with such nasties as urine, feces, saliva or the breath of an infected animal.
Gee, Rod, baby...you mean pretty much the same way things happen when a group of deer find themselves on a whitetail runway, or perhaps eating as a group at one of the hundreds of thousands of big, round hay bails we see all over farmer's fields across the state, or maybe at the hundreds of piles of cedar tree-tops which are regularly left in the woods, by loggers doing their normal winter cutting here in the U.P.??
Hmmn?
Please notice that he tells us this disease "CAN" spread!!
He fails to plainly state that it actually, without question "IS" spread in such a fashion!
Same old, same old, folks!
This is the exact kind of shucking and jiving that you and I have been receiving from these intrepid, DNR DEER SPECIALISTS" since all of this began so many years and dead deer ago.
"This COULD happen!" they howl!!...It MIGHT be the cause!" they holler!!...MAYBE...PERHAPS...POSSIBLY...YADDA...YADDA, oh I've written about all of this before!!!
And I have always wondered why these so-called expert, wildlife authority figures constantly refuse to admit that there is no disease known to man which has even the smallest chance of surviving exposure to the brutal, below zero weather that we here in the U.P. experience for literally weeks at a time.
Hell, I'm not even a biologist and I know that much!
By the way, another thing they won't fess up to is the fact that these same kind of disease germs can't survivie on a salt or mineral block either.
So much for their ridiculous bans on these tasty deer treats! Just a clear example of yet another lie!
And would you like to know why these illustrious whitetail deer "experts" continue to relate their DNR bureaucratically approved spins designed front to back for unopposed cosumption by the great unwashed, uninformed and sadly, all to often uncaring general public??
Why, for the best reason in the world.
The cold reality of the situation is this!!!
They flat out, don't know what the hell they're talking about!!!
Think I'm kidding or talking through my hat?
Well consider, if you will that even after years of exposure to these "various" whitetail and livestock health problems mentioned earlier by Mr. Clute, the bottom line of the situation is that they have had to admit publicly, that the veterinarian community in our state "ACTUALLY KNOWS" less than three percent about any of these diseases.
Gosharootie, Mr. Science!!
In a recent article found in one of our state's major newspapers a DNR veterinarian admitted that they really aren't even sure as to whether or not a CWD infected cow can pass the disease along to it's suckling calf.
Personally, I'd be ashamed to even own up to such a sad example of my total lack of knowledge, competency and legitimate, "sound, Scientific Information".
(Can you say, "Let's get rid of proposal G", boys and girls???)
But this is all part and parcel of what they popularly regard as "dazzling us with their blinding bull-pucky!"
Allow me to take this a step farther and this is the really important part of this diatribe that I want you to pay particular attention to because here's where the bans here in the U.P. were designed to stop the spread of disease!
First!...Major news flash for you, Roddy darlin"
THERE AIN'T NO DISEASES AFFECTING CATTLE OR WHITETAIL DEER HERE IN THE UPPER PENINSULA!!!
No Bovine TB!.....No Chromic Wasting Disease...no mumps, measles, chicken-pox or major impacting of the bowels in any of our great, hoofed mammals!
So I would reason that this tidy, bit of erroneous rational and convenient, wrong-headed conclusion on his part has pretty well gone gurgling down the well-known commode.
(Let me qualify that last statement! I personally do believe that our moose herd has been in essence virtually eliminated by a combination of brain-worm disease and major predation by an out-of-control, rapidly increasing wolf population, and in both cases, once again it's without question the fault of the DNR wildlife people for having to deal with either one of these problems!)
But allow me to put this scenario into crystal-clear perspective for you.
In the event that we were so foolish as to put any kind of faith or credence into what this nit-wit has stated, we would actually be FINDING OURSELVES IN THE POSITION OF ATTEMPTING TO SAVE OUR UPPER PENINSULA WHITETAIL DEER HERD......FROM PERISHING FROM A NON-EXISTENT DISEASE..........THROUGH THE SIMPLE, BUT EXTREMELY EFFICIENT METHOD OF LETTING THEM STARVE TO DEATH!!
What we are discussing here is purely and simply, genocidal, whitetail deer elimination!
That, in essence is how this pathetic buffoon is telling us our herd should be managed.
But his attitude should come as no surprise to anyone who is aware that this is the same man who told a U.P. resident who called him to express his concerns for a deer population which was beginning to perish along the Kewanaw Peninsula that these animals should without question, be allowed to die!
Just another prime example of the sterling qualities and unfailing good judgment, compassion and intelligence which these intrepid keepers of our wildlife posses.
It's beyond disgusting!
"Wildlife Experts???"
I don't think so!!
One of the most interesting aspect of this winter's overall effect on our deer herd is the fact that due to this year's major amount of snow and cold weather, even the bureaucrats had to admit that just perhaps the total ban on supplemental feeding in the U.P. might not have been the best course of action.
This shift in attitude was the result of hundreds of angry letters, e-mails , and phone calls to both the members of the NRC and the Governors office. Our U.P. elected state officials also got into the act as did our lone, Upper Peninsula Commissioner, John Madigan.
What wound up happening was that the NRC finally, (and very reluctantly on the part of Mr. Bob Garner and others), essentually found themsleves forced by public pressure and opinion and a sincere desire to hang onto their phoney bologna jobs and very possibly keep from being lynched by a whole bunch of really annoyed, fed up yoopers, to relax the supplemental feeding ban in a handful of northern counties up along the very top of the UP in the Lake Superior watershed.
But, again what all of this amounts to is a band-aid for a cut throat!
It's a simple case of way too little too late, and in all of the wrong locations.
In the normal way that bureaucrats have of doing everything the wrong way, they have again clearly displaed their monumental lack of understanding as to what it's like here in the Upper Peninsula.
The bottom line essence and overall truth of their decision is simply this.
Oh sure, we are now going to be allowed to feed deer again here in the U.P......in all the counties where, for all practial purpose, THERE AREN'T ANY DEER!!!
Stop and think about a coulpe of things, folks.
First off, remember with me, if you will where the sacred, AND HIGHLY TOUTED, (by DNR Wildlife and NRC people), 1984 mooses transplants occurred and why????
My friends, these animals were brought in from Canada and relesed right in some of the same northern Lake Superior watershed counties already discussed in this article.
Now as to the "Why" of it!
They put the moose into these areas because, as they stated over and over again, there was no appreciable population of whitetails hanging around, so the fear of the mooose contracting the dread, braind worm disease, which, according to these same biologists, is transmitted from deer to moose, was almost non-existant! Well, they were obviously very wrong again, weren't they, cousin??
Stay with me on this!!! These same supposedly, "deerless" counties are the exact locatioins where we now are allowed to engage in supplemental feeding, and for what???
Why, for deer, folks!!
Next thing to consider!
When a coon-canner of a winter happens as has been the case this year, what few deer are to be found to these northernmost counties, simply make every effort to "get the hell out of Dodge" and move South into the central part of the UP which already is the traditional year-round residence of the bulk of our whitetail herd.
But the most important point that none of these idiots will even admit to, (and believe me when I tell you that they all know very well that what I am about to say is true), is that this winter has been every bit as harsh in the more centrally located areas and on the collective whitetail population now residing there than any similarly harsh conditions to be found further North.
Folks, this very day, deer are dying on parcels of State Land not more than a handful of mile from my home and again these lying bureaucrats are more than satisfied to publicity proclaim that they are doing absolutely everything that they can to save our herd that they pretend to care so much about, when in all truth they have done absolutely nothing positive or meaningful at all and frankly, could give a rancid, rat's red, rectal, recess as to whether they live or die!
But if you think that what I have presented to you thus far is outrageous, you ain't heard nothing yet!
I want to now bring to your attention what I truly believe to be the ultimate in bureaucratic stupidity and clearly shows, beyond a shadow of doubt the uselessness of the DNR Wildlife Division and their obvious unceasing attempts to bring our U.P. deer herd to a point where there is virtually no huntable population left.
I refer to that unbelievable exercise in futility known as the WINTER SEVERITY INDEX!!
Here's how it works.
Each year, shortly after the various hunting season have passed into memory, the DNR Wildlife Division highly trained staff of crack biologist are sent off to various locations throughout the U.P., (I don't know where they go or how many spots are chosen), where they set up pieces of mysterious and mystical equipment, the purpose and function of which is known only to those wizards of the outdoors.
But my understanding is that in essence, what these marvels of scientific endeavor do is indicate how severe the winter is getting to be and what impact it will have on our whitetail herd.
Sounds great doesn't it??
See, if you know when the winter is becoming harsh enough to pose a threat to the deer, then, in the event that you truly were concerned about their welfare and wanted to get as many possible through these hard times, by regularly checking and watching these winter severity index machines, they would know exactly when to kick in their supplemental feeding, contingency programs.....if they had any....WHICH THEY DON'T
And so, every few days or so, these wildlife people rush happily out into the forest, clipboards and crayons in hand to check their snow levels and thermometers and whatever other fascinating dials and gauges they have to screw around with.
It's costly and it's time consuming. And given the fact that the DNR does not choose to, and most probably never will change their non-feeding policy, it's is as useless as it can possibly be.
The sad fact is that year after year the scientific data they themselves gather consistently
indicates that the winter conditions have reached the point where our deer are in harms way and desperately need some assistance in the form of food brought into various areas of the UP.
And even though they are well aware of this fact, they do absolutely nothing to help these animals. And what is even more outrageous, they won't allow the sporting community of private hunters and good hearted citizens of the U.P. to do anything to help them either. So, one might inquire, exactly what does all of this "Scientific Research" amount to??
Why, it simply indicates when we can expect our deer to start dying off?
That's it my friends!
This total waste of man, (or woman), hours and sportsman's dollars accomplishes absolutely nothing of value for our deer herd.
But each and every winter, this travesty continues, the sad and foolish result being lots of dead and dying deer and a wildlife division proudly proclaiming that they are continuing to do everything they can for the well being of our herd.
But let's get back to the "allowing" of the private citizens in the U.P. to feed starving whitetails by the DNR and NRC.
This only positive aspect of all this silliness on the part of the bureaucratic community is that we were able to ram NRC Commissioner Mr. Bob Garner's words back down his throat. He is the one that stated with every assurance that supplemental feeding in the U.P. WAS A THING OF THE PAST AND THAT NOTHING MORE WAS EVEN TO BE DISCUSSED ABOUT THE ISSUE!
Well how do you like them apples, Bobby baby???
My friends, what we have here with this pitiful decision on the part of the folks who are supposed to be watching over our wildlife in the State of Michigan is, purely and simply, yet another monumental example of the uselessness of the very people who are our hired, overpaid, DNR, Wildlife managers, our elected officials and the outrageous Governor mandated, appointees to the Natural Resources Commission.
It also demonstrates clearly that the NRC members still refuse to acknowledge the fact that the Upper Peninsula is different than suburban Lansing!
But, happily I can state with assurance that all is not lost regarding our deer herd here in the U.P.
The vast majority of these animals are going to survive to see another spring. And the reason for this is not due to any, useless, cockamamy posturings by the NRC and/or the DNR simply designed to pull the wool over the eyes of the great, unwashed general public, as they continue trying to convince them that someone within the bureaucracy really gives a damn as to whether or not our herd perishes!
No, my fiends!
As I mentioned earlier, a large portion of our whitetail deer herd in the U.P. is, without question, being saved by hundreds of thousands of erstwhile, law abiding sportspeople and private citizen landowners, many, many of whom have never engaged in a whitetail feeding program before this winter, who are purposely and knowingly breaking the law as they bravely put themselves at risk doing whatever they personally feel is necessary to save the deer in their area.
And to them I say,
God bless you all and keep on keepin on!!
Bill Moore
The Outspoken Sportsman