On the Lighter Side

Introducing The 2012 Pelosi GTxi SS/RT Sport Edition

USFA program to reduce bird strikes

* Need a bail out too? Here's your application!

* Extreme Sheep LED Art

Guy caught eatin' a Bald Eagle

A guy is caught by a ranger eating a bald eagle and is consequently put
in jail for the crime. On the day of his trial, the conversation went
something like this:

Judge: "Do you know that eating a bald eagle is a federal offense?"

Man: "Yes I did. But if you let me argue my case, I'll explain what happened."

Judge: "Proceed."

Man: "I got lost in the woods. I hadn't had anything to eat for two
weeks. I was so hungry. Next thing I see is a Bald Eagle swooping down
at the lake for some fish. I knew that if I followed the Eagle I could
maybe steal the fish. Unfortunately, in the process of taking the fish I
killed the Eagle. I figured that since I killed the Eagle I might as
well eat it since it would be more disgraceful to let it rot on the ground."

Judge: "The court will take a recess while we analyze your testimony."

Fifteen minutes goes by and the judge returns.

Judge: "Due to the extreme circumstance you were under and because you
didn't intend to kill the Eagle, the court will dismiss the charges. But
if you don't mind the court asking, what does a Bald Eagle taste like?"

Man: "Well your honor, it is hard to explain. The best I can describe it
is maybe a combination between a California Condor and a Spotted Owl."

* Hunter takes on a bear

* The Right Equipment

* Deer Gets Revenge on Hunter

This is only funny if it's NOT happening to you.

Alaskan Clydesdale

Black Bear Blog:
911 What Is Your Emergency? I See A 150# Black Panther

Posted: 18 May 2009 12:08

That’s how the story goes that’s coming out of Michigan. A caller to 911 wanted help because he saw what he thought to be about a 150-pound black panther or at least a big black cat in a drain pipe in Warren, Michigan.

Before I go on, here’s the deal. You see the usual drivel we hear from those “professional” wildlife wardens and those “professional” law enforcement people and any other of those “professionals” who refuse to half believe people when they call in or file a report of seeing something unusual or out of the ordinary, is you don’t know what you’re talking about. Sometimes it’s so bad that officials bad mouth the public in a big way saying in so many words that the “untrained eye” can’t hardly ever distinguish what is actually being seen. Got my drift here? You’re dumb. They’re not.

Back to the black panther. So this guy says in a 911 call that he sees what he says is a 150-pound black cat and wants help. About 10 of those “professionals” show up and low and behold inside this old drainage pipe, which I believe is just laying on top of the ground, is a big old black cat. It must have looked huge in that pipe to a “professionally” “trained eye”. (snicker)

Those “professionals” who know what they are doing, commenced to taser the poor black cat when stuffing flew in all directions. The big 150-pound black cat was a stuffed rendition that perhaps someone stuck inside the drain pipe with prank on their mind. Prank they got!

So rest assured all you people who might from time to time hesitate before calling “professionals” to report something wicked weird you might have seen. Because now we know the real “professionals” can figure it out a lot better than you or I can.

Tom Remington

Note: In all fairness to those “professionals”, they see a lot and do a lot and for that they have my respect. I hope they can laugh at this too.

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